thinking underage

ive got a pocket full of change, im tired of thinking underage. -teddy geiger.
he makes me smile beyond compare.
so i just got back from working and im going to have a night out with my girls.
thats all i need. right now im tired of shit. im ready to let loose.
goodbye.

holy moly:O

woooo. this is like my third blog in 10 minutes, because im lazy and i do not feel like adding more shit to my blogs so i just keep posting new short ones:)
hope you dont mind.
good
well i am superpissed. i MISS HIM and i am extremely jealous of any girl that talks to him. i just want to go slap him in the face everytime he looks at another girl, might i meantion, we arent dating. so its extra hard.yes. most of my blogs talking about "him" are about one certain someone. so.. anyways its been three days since we've been apart and i start crying all the time because i miss him. im such an emotional WRECK! i hate it. i want to hate every girl hes touched. but that wont help at all. no one knows how much he meant to me and how he made my summer. every morning i'd wake up to his sweet texts. and id get butterflies whenever id hear tires in the driveway, cause i knew it was him. no one knows. yes, i have only been hanging out with him for like two months. but he has made my summer beyond amazing. i dont care. time doesnt matter. i care about him just as much as anyone whos known him his whole life.


"Emily Christine Anderson!! So much to say buy so little time befor I fall asleep, ha well hear it goes, we are so close! I love being with you, I love it when you lay on me! I love it when you look into my eyes and I glance into yours, then are lips meet! It's so amazing! When we kiss it's like no ordanary kiss! It feels like I could stay there forever! I miss you soooo much I can't even type how much I miss you. But I hope we can chill soon! I relly want to be with you emily!! When we are togeather I am care free! I feel like I'm at the highest peek in the world and no one can bring me down. I just want to stay with you and hold you forever emily! Now it's like 1am and u never txt me back so I gess you fell asleep! So I hope you read this soon! Ha I love talking to you on myspace ha but damn this is a long ass paper thing haha but to sum it all up I Alex Abbott love you Emily Anderson"

i cry everytime i read that. im so stupid. why cant he feel that way now? its only been a month. what has changed?..

well

just thought i'd say. i am so ready for soccer again:)
i neeeed to get in really good condition or im screwed. yaaaaa.
peace:)

sweet like candy to my soul

well, i knew it was going to happen. but not this soon. he started drifting from me..and so. it happened. once again. it seemed like he didnt give a DAMN about me or anything. recently though just a few days befor it happened. he admitted we were drifting apart but wouldnt do a goddamn thing to fix it. so i told him i was through. and it didnt phase him a bit. he just overcame it. after i broke up with him and after bawling in a corner on my friends shoulder at hickory alive for an hour. ive realized it was for the best. i just dont see how things changed so fast. it was like yesterday that he sent me that amazingly sweet message. and i fell asleep on him while watching the hulk:/ and he said baby to me every other word. and he listened to me sing and said i had the most bautiful voice he'd ever heard. and how he brushed my hair out of my face before hed kiss me. i miss his calluses(sp?) from bmxing, and how i always wanted to give him lotion for it. hahah. and his anxiaty and desire to win my mom and brother over haha. and his love for my big vocabulary. and i miss kissing him goodbye against his car when he went home late at night. that was the last time i saw him. and probably the last time i will ever see him again. wow. i just wrote a friggen novel about someone who doesnt even give a crap about me.

damned if i do ya, damned if i dont.

things are really staring to clear up. im really happy right now. alex michael abbott. he makes me laugh more than anyone. and hes pretty stupid:) but i love him to death. he amazes me. with his chillness:) and his pretty blue eyes:) hahahaha! oh my god. im on the phone with him right now.. hes flossing. wtf? whatta weirdo. :) i love him incredably much. uhhh! we're talking about doing a long distance relationship thing. we'll see. i am just enjoying the summer.and my friends, well i will be visiting them many many times. me and madison have been making plans for me to live with her instead. haha! i love her. and we found a house we like in georgia. idk, georgia looks pretayyyy ghetto. (not in a good way) but the house is beautiful and right across from the highschool.. so..to top it off. i went on a super shopping spree today. bought the frigggggen mall i swear. it was very nice. ;) ahhhh! and i got a 3OH!3 shirt:) yay. its cute. im starting to look at life in a different life. life is a gift. NO ONE sees it like that anymore. im apreciating everything. so far. its working. you should try it too?

im beginning to except that i am leaving. im so freaking grateful for all of my friends here. becuase every ounce of my happiness i owe to them. they have pulled me through childhood. into my teenage years and half way through them. and i am happy with everything ive done. i know theres nothing i can change. i just love it here. i cant believe i ever wanted to leave. especially now since i have found a guy that gives a damn. and i cant believe im going to leave all these people behins. weve made plans on growing up and going to college together. i dont know whats ahead. but now i know my head is on straight and i will make new friends. but i can honestly say, my best friends will always be here in hickory.