your not sorry.

someone bought our house today. so im off to gray georgia. where i know no one and trust no one. in a time where thats what i need the most. no one cares about me. i always get left. alone. i get my heart broken a million times. way too much. im done. i dont even know what to do now. no one gives a damn to try to make me feel better. or chase after me when i leave.

lifegaurds are funny.

haha so! yesterday i was babysitting these three kids and i took them to the YMCA to swim:) so while i was watching them, this superhot lifegaurd that i was like freaking out over walks by me and says "why cant i teach you swim lessons" and winks. AAHAH. :D it made my day. just sayiiinn

new kids on the block had a bunch of hits.

soooo, my momma's bout to get home, and shes taking me shopping:D then im getting home, cassidys over, and were going to buffalo wild wings, and more than likely gonna do some kareoke;) WOOO WOOO WOOO i love summer. and the feeling i get when its summer time. God there is nothing better. than the sun on your back, a song in your i-pod, the wind in your hair, and sand in your feet<3 i want a fun one this year. no holding back. i so want a job. everyone has a job. ughh. maybe i'll get the hook up at chic-fil-a. yay?

freshman

:) graduation. wow. i cant believe i am officially in high school. its about time. woooooooo.

summer has arrived.

wooo! woo! woooo!
its all great except the fact i dont have a freaking cellphone. i hate getting it taken away. i feel so disconnected. so today was eighth grade graduation:D yay. hahah. i hate feeling so old when im so young. its frusterating. but after graduating, i went to madisons. and we hung out with justin biddix. hahah. whos a sweetheart. im surprised he put up with me madison and caroline..we get a little..intollerable(: it was pretty great. so we got back to madisons and watched "he's just not that into you" i swear that movie inspires me to no end. i think i need to listen to it. cause my stupid retarded heart tells me hes mine. ha! he's not. and i doubt he wants to be. even though he told me he loved me last night. im sure it means nothing. and now im so stuck on him any guy that asks me out i see "him" whenever they talk to me. so i cant just date any guy. OH! hahahaha perfect just as im typing this im being asked out. guess what?! i dont know what the HELLL im going to do. i dont think i like him. ughhhh this would be the second time this happened because of stefan. im terrified that today was the last time i'll ever see him. im terrified about the thought of me probably moving. i dont know if i should hold on to my friends more or less now? to be honest im TERRIFIED of my future. im going to have to start ALL OVER AGAIN. i already had to do this two years ago, and now i have a perfect life here. what if thats not the case if i move to georgia? im so confused. im so scared, and i cant focus on anything else. im the most paranoid person ever. but its summer! time to do something spontanious. something to make my summer wonderful.

i miss

his smile . his kiss. his retarded comebacks. his sarcastic personality. and being able to see right past it. his deep brown eyes. his hands helping me play guitar. his kisses in the hallway. his beautiful skin. him

ew.

my throat hurts like a mother:/..so im in mrs. Farris' class. and basically im bored out of my mind. and somewhat scared, because i have a telent show in like 3 hours, and i have strep freaking throat. screw everything. Why do I get strep right before my party, graduation and the talent show. How ironic right? UGH. well i watched titanic last night. and balled my eyes out for an hour. I always forget how emotional that movie makes me. I think it is so strange how things that make me upset, make me happy at the same time. You probably have no idea what im talking about. okay. also this weekend my ex-boyfriend who im still basically in love with texts me. and tells me he still has feelings for me. which should be great right? NOOOO! because he has a new rebound, and aparently hes more into her than me. and he tells me that right after he confesses he still likes me. i mean who the HELL does that? thats so gay. So he leaves me confused and crying with my friends at the mall. Im super-pissed. He tells me that he plans on dating me in the future, but not now. i AM NOT going to be the fruitcup that you grab out of the fridge when you realize the pudding is all gone. if that makes sense? hahahah. so molly and jeff are watching everything im typing:) i'll go. ciao! <3Emily