you belong with me.

this is hell. hell. im in love with this guy. ive met him once. i just want to stop liking him. i mean. its my bestfriends future boyfriend. how can i feel this way. i want him so much. but she has liked him much longer. but when he huggged me i wanted to just die. i felt amazing and i knew i liked him. so i feel like shit. shes in love with him too. how could you not be? can i pleeassseee find love? i tought that today. then i met this guy. he is the definition of beauty i swear. and hes sweeter than anything ive ever met. of course he was flirting with her. but thats what she deserves..i think. i think i deserve him to though. i want him so bad. im insane ive met him once and im going CRAZY. maybe its all in my head. but why cant i find love now. i need it. to prove to me that life can get better. i nneedddd it!!!

everyones a letdown.

im moving. isnt that fabulous? no not so much. i HATE georgia. it's stupid, and redneck, without the excuse of one farm or a cute cowboy.;) ( i just saw the hannah montana movie) i'll never be too old for disney i swear. i hate this i hate it. Georgia has ruined my life. to top off my horrible spring break. my boyfriend broke up with me. i loved him. and he just dropped me, and he is going to no doubt move on faster than i could imagine. i was just on the phone with him about 5 minutes ago. it was awful to hear his voice, and think. tthis is pointless. this is it. its done. i dont know why he called me. doesnt he want to disconnect himself to make it easier? thats all i want. i want to go far away. to a cute little town with the christmas lights up all year long. and have good down to earth people around me. i want an open field and stars where i can make memories with the love of my life. i want to lay in his arms and have him kiss me under the stars. i want a cute horse that i can get on and take off with. i want a town i can write music in and be descovered in. where is this dream place? cause i want it about now.

ewwwwwwwwwwwwww this sucks beyond compare.
im a day away from leaving for the biggest most amazing event of the year. and im depressed.
im anxiaty prone to everything. and i dont see the point in doing anything without worrying.
there is something SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH ME. i have never been this stressed. i may be moving. im drifting from my boyfriend. i hate watching everyone else not thinking about deep things like i do.